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”“Hmm! How many men have you slept with?” asked her mother.“Only one.” Said the daughter.“O.K. Here’s an elastic band, just before he gets you into bed, go to the toilet and stick this up your you know where and when it twangs and he asks you what that was, you say it’s alright darling that’s just my virginity going.”So the wedding goes ahead and on the wedding bed ‘twang’ “What was that”, the new husband asked.“That was just my virginity, darling.”And the new husband was happy.Some time later the second daughter was due to be married, went to her mother and said “Mom, I’m getting married to Frank tomorrow but I’m not the virgin he thinks I am.”“How many men have you been with” asked the mother.“Only three” said the daughter.“Alright, here’s three elastic bands, just before you get into bed on the wedding night go to the toilet and stick these up, when they go ‘twang’ you tell him it’s just your virginity going”And again all went well.Then the third daughter came to her mother and. " Cath called then, commenting on my hair. "It needs a good trim Mike. I can do that for you later if you want. Now out of the bath and into bed for a few hours!"I was out for a good while because it was just starting to go dark when I awoke. As I lay there I noticed that the room was getting lighter not darker and that it was morning not evening. I lay there dozing until my watch started bleeping at me. Automatically I lurched out of bed and started to look for my clothes. Eventually finding a note addressed to me sat on top of a pair of jogging bottoms and tee shirt."Morning! - Hope you slept well, you looked so peaceful when I looked in. I have to be at work for eight today and will be home for three thirty, four o'clock. Keep your head down and stay in. I have bunged all your clothes in the washer so here are some, which should fit you.Luv Cath. PS Put the dinner in at 3pm please. It's in the fridge 130 C."Once dressed I stumbled down to the kitchen and made my self-a mug of tea,.
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